Do I Need Grief Therapy?

It is an unusual thing for a therapist's website to say, but it is what the evidence shows: grief is not an illness, and most people who lose someone do not need treatment for it. They hurt, sometimes for a long time, and they find their way with the help of the people around them.

That still leaves a real question for you. Some people do benefit from therapy after a loss, and others simply want it. This article sets out what the research says, the signs that more support may help, and what you can try before or alongside therapy.

Do most grieving people need therapy?

No. The National Cancer Institute (NCI) tells patients that normal grief may not need to be treated, and that most bereaved people work through grief and recover within the first 6 months to 2 years. A 2007 review in The Lancet put it this way: "grief is not a disease and most people adjust without professional psychological intervention." The American Psychiatric Association says that for most people the symptoms of grief decrease over time and do not usually require mental health treatment.

Research on therapy points the same way. A 2008 meta-analysis of 61 controlled studies found that, taken together, grief interventions had a small effect right after treatment and no statistically significant benefit at follow-up. The authors suggested one reason: people in the comparison groups tended to improve naturally over time.

Who tends to benefit, according to research?

The same 2008 analysis found a different picture for one group. Interventions that were aimed only at people having marked difficulty adapting to a loss had outcomes that compared favorably with psychotherapy for other problems.

Later studies agree. A 2019 meta-analysis of 31 randomized trials found a small to moderate overall effect of therapy on grief symptoms, and larger effects when treatment was delivered individually, when participants were at least 6 months past the loss, and when they had been selected for high symptoms. The authors noted that the studies varied and that there were some signs of publication bias. The Lancet review reached a matching conclusion: help should be targeted at people at high risk and at those with complicated grief or with depression or stress disorders related to bereavement.

One thing therapy has not been shown to do is head off problems in advance. A 2011 meta-analysis of 14 randomized trials found that treatment can reduce complicated grief symptoms, but that preventive interventions do not appear to be effective. So this article will not tell you that starting therapy now protects you later.

What signs suggest extra support may help?

None of these is a diagnosis. They are the kinds of things that lead clinicians, and the sources above, to suggest talking with someone.

• Sadness is making it difficult to carry on in your day-to-day life. This is the National Institute on Aging's own wording for when to reach out.
• The grief is as intense as it was at the start, many months on, and shows no sign of easing. See prolonged grief disorder for what clinicians look for.
• Your mood is low all the time instead of coming in waves, or you feel worthless. See grief vs. depression.
• The death was sudden or violent and you are also dealing with trauma symptoms. See grief after a sudden or traumatic loss.
• You have few people to lean on. The NCI notes that a lack of social support increases the chance of having problems coping with a loss.
• You are having thoughts of suicide. Call or text 988, or call 911 in an emergency.

What can you try first?

The National Institute on Aging suggests three places to turn: loved ones, a support group, or a mental health professional. For many people the first two are enough.

Hospice programs are another option. Federal rules require hospices to make bereavement services available to families for up to 1 year after a patient's death, and the National Institute on Aging notes that you can ask hospice workers for bereavement support even if hospice was not used before the death. Peer groups exist for particular losses too. The practice keeps a list of grief support groups in the Boston area, and this comparison explains how groups and therapy differ.

Reading helps some people feel less alone. A list of books on grief is a place to begin.

Is it all right to choose therapy anyway?

Yes. Seeking therapy for ordinary grief is a personal choice, not a medical necessity, and you do not have to qualify for it. People choose it for reasons that have little to do with symptom scores:

• They want one place where they can say everything, including the anger, relief or guilt that is hard to say to family.
• The people who would usually support them are grieving the same loss.
• The loss has stirred up older losses or a difficult history with the person who died.
• The loss is one that others do not readily recognize, such as an estrangement or the end of a marriage.
• They want to understand what this loss means for who they are and how they live now.

These are the kinds of questions Dr. Rabin's grief and loss therapy is built around. Her approach is psychodynamic, attachment-based, trauma-informed and mindfulness-based. She does not use a scripted set of techniques or a fixed number of stages. The work is about what a particular loss means to you and how it connects to your history.

How can you decide?

A short conversation is often the simplest way. Dr. Rabin offers a free initial consultation of about 15 minutes by phone. You can describe what is happening and ask whether therapy, a group or something else seems like the right step. There is no fixed timeline to commit to. Some people come for weeks or months around a loss, and for others the work becomes longer term.

If you would like to look more widely first, how to choose a grief therapist lists questions to ask anyone you are considering. You can request a consultation through the contact page.

Keep reading

• Types of Grief Therapy and What the Research Says
• How to Choose a Grief Therapist
• What to Expect in Grief Therapy
• All grief and loss guides

Sources

• National Cancer Institute, Grief, Bereavement, and Loss (PDQ), Patient Version (2025)
• Stroebe, Schut and Stroebe, Health outcomes of bereavement, The Lancet (2007)
• Currier, Neimeyer and Berman, The effectiveness of psychotherapeutic interventions for bereaved persons: a comprehensive quantitative review, Psychological Bulletin (2008)
• Wittouck, Van Autreve, De Jaegere, Portzky and van Heeringen, The prevention and treatment of complicated grief: a meta-analysis, Clinical Psychology Review (2011)
• Johannsen et al., Psychological interventions for grief in adults: A systematic review and meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials, Journal of Affective Disorders (2019)
• American Psychiatric Association, Prolonged Grief Disorder (2025)
• National Institute on Aging, Coping With Grief and Loss (2024)
• Electronic Code of Federal Regulations, 42 CFR 418.64, Condition of participation: Core services (accessed 2026)
• Commonwealth of Massachusetts, Behavioral Health Help Line (BHHL) FAQ (accessed 2026)

Last reviewed October 2026. This guide is general information, not medical advice or a diagnosis. If you are in crisis, call or text 988, or call 911 in an emergency.