Not knowing what will happen in the room keeps a lot of people from making the first call. This page describes how grief therapy works in Dr. Rabin's practice in particular. Other therapists work differently, and types of grief therapy and what the research says compares the main approaches.
For a general walk-through of a first appointment, see what to expect in your first therapy session. What follows is about grief.
What happens on the consultation call?
Before any appointment, Dr. Rabin offers a free consultation of about 15 minutes, by phone. She asks a few basic questions: what is prompting you to look for therapy now, whether you have been in therapy before, and what you are hoping for. You can ask her anything in return, including how she works and what she charges.
You do not have to tell the whole story of your loss on this call. Saying who or what you lost, and what has been hardest lately, is enough. If you cannot put it into words yet, you can say that too. The call carries no obligation. You can request one through the contact page or by calling (617) 256-1004.
What are the first sessions like?
A session lasts 45 to 50 minutes, in person at 1577 Beacon Street in Brookline or by secure video if you are in Massachusetts. Dr. Rabin begins by asking you to say, in your own words, what brought you in, and she follows your lead from there. She also asks about the wider picture: your relationships, your work, your family background. With grief, that may include the person or the part of your life you lost, and sometimes earlier losses as well.
In the first session she explains confidentiality and its limits. By the end of that meeting, the two of you usually talk about whether it makes sense to continue and what a regular schedule could look like.
You do not need to prepare notes or a summary. You do not have to share everything at once. Crying is fine, and so is silence. If you go blank, she will not press you to speak before you are ready.
How does Dr. Rabin approach grief?
Her approach to grief and loss therapy is contemporary psychodynamic. In practice that means the sessions are a conversation about what this particular loss means to you and how it connects to your history. She describes four strands in the work:
- Psychodynamic. Looking at why this loss affects you the way it does, including your relationship with what was lost and earlier losses it may be stirring up. More on this at psychodynamic therapy.
- Attachment-based. Treating grief as a break in a bond that anchored your sense of safety and identity, and looking at how your early relationships shape the way you experience separation now.
- Trauma-informed. When a loss was sudden, violent or ambiguous, working at a pace that respects your capacity, with attention to how loss is felt in the body, and without asking you to revisit more than you are ready for.
- Mindfulness-based. Building the capacity to stay with painful feelings without being swept away by them. She is clear that this is not about suppressing grief or rushing toward acceptance.
She also offers CBT, which is a more structured way of working.
What will not happen?
A few things people expect from grief therapy are not part of how she works.
- No stages to complete. She does not use a fixed number of stages, and the research does not support the idea that grief moves through them in order.
- No scripted set of coping techniques handed out in sequence.
- Generally no homework or exercises. On her own site she says the work happens in the room and in what you begin to notice between sessions.
- No prescriptions. Dr. Rabin is a psychologist and does not prescribe medication. If medication is part of your care, she can coordinate with your prescriber.
What does the research say about this way of working?
You deserve a straight answer here. For prolonged grief disorder, a diagnosis only a clinician can make, a 2024 review found that grief-focused CBT-based therapies currently have the strongest evidence, with the caution that the studies vary a good deal and carry bias. There is little randomized-trial evidence for psychodynamic therapy for prolonged grief specifically. That is an absence of strong evidence, not evidence that it does not help.
Many people who look for grief therapy do not have prolonged grief disorder, and the National Cancer Institute notes that normal grief may not need treatment at all. For them the choice of approach is more about what kind of help they want: structured and focused on symptoms, or open-ended and focused on meaning. It is reasonable to ask Dr. Rabin how she would approach your situation, and whether a more structured treatment or a referral would serve you better. Prolonged grief disorder explains what clinicians look for.
How long does it take, and who sets the pace?
There is no fixed timeline. Some people come for weeks or months around a specific loss. For others the work opens into something longer term, often because the loss has touched patterns that were there before it. Sessions are usually weekly, especially at the start, and some clients later move to every other week. That decision is made together.
Dr. Rabin says she talks openly about pacing and checks in regularly on what is helping. It is common to feel more emotional after a session, because feelings that were pushed aside are closer to the surface for a while. If that happens, tell her. The pace can be adjusted.
How do you know whether it is helping?
No therapist can promise a result, and grief does not end on a schedule. The National Institute on Aging puts it this way: as time passes you may still miss the person, but for most people the intense pain lessens, with good days and bad days.
Change in therapy is often quiet. Dr. Rabin's site gives examples such as recognizing a feeling sooner, pausing before an automatic reaction, or finding that your inner voice has become less punishing. A wave of grief on an ordinary afternoon does not mean you have lost ground.
If some time has passed and nothing seems to be shifting, say so in a session. That is useful information, and it is a fair moment to ask whether a different approach would suit you better. If at any point you have thoughts of wishing you were dead, call or text 988, or call 911 in an emergency.
The simplest way to find out whether this approach fits you is the free 15-minute phone consultation, which you can request on the contact page.
Keep reading
Sources
- LaPlante, Hardt, Maciejewski and Prigerson, State of the Science: Psychotherapeutic Interventions for Prolonged Grief Disorder, Behavior Therapy (2024)
- National Cancer Institute, Grief, Bereavement, and Loss (PDQ), Patient Version (2025)
- National Cancer Institute, Grief, Bereavement, and Coping With Loss (PDQ), Health Professional Version (2024)
- National Institute on Aging, Coping With Grief and Loss (2024)
- Prigerson, Boelen, Xu, Smith and Maciejewski, Validation of the new DSM-5-TR criteria for prolonged grief disorder and the PG-13-Revised (PG-13-R) scale, World Psychiatry (2021)
Last reviewed October 2026. This guide is general information, not medical advice or a diagnosis. If you are in crisis, call or text 988, or call 911 in an emergency.
