Most people who are grieving do not need a therapist. The National Cancer Institute says plainly that normal grief may not need to be treated, and research reviews find that therapy helps most clearly when grief is severe, long-lasting or getting in the way of daily life. If you are still weighing that question, start with Do I need grief therapy?
If you have decided you want that support, the next question is who. This guide covers what to look for and what to ask, and it applies to any therapist you are considering. For questions that fit any kind of therapy, see 5 questions to ask before choosing a therapist in Brookline. This page stays with grief.
What license should a grief therapist have?
There is no license that is specific to grief. Grief therapy is offered by licensed psychologists, clinical social workers, mental health counselors and psychiatrists. A license tells you the person met the state's requirements and answers to a licensing board. It does not tell you how much they know about grief, so treat it as the starting point and keep asking.
Ask what license the therapist holds and which state issued it. This matters for online sessions too. The Massachusetts Board of Registration of Psychologists takes the position that psychology is practiced where the client is physically located at the time of the session, so a psychologist who sees you while you are in Massachusetts must be licensed here.
Support groups are a different thing. Some are led by trained volunteers who have lived through a similar loss, and they describe themselves as peer support, not counseling. The differences are laid out in grief therapy, grief counseling or a support group.
How much grief training and experience is enough?
No single certificate settles this. What you want to hear is that grief is a regular part of the therapist's work, and that they have thought about losses like yours. Useful things to find out:
- How much of their practice involves grief, and for how many years.
- Whether they have worked with your kind of loss: a sudden or violent death, a suicide loss, the death of a child or partner, a loss that is not a death, or grief that began before the loss.
- Whether they have training in trauma, if the loss was traumatic. The VA's National Center for PTSD suggests talking to someone who focuses on complicated or prolonged grief when distress stays high.
- How they tell grief apart from depression and from prolonged grief disorder, and what they do when more than one is present.
After a suicide loss, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention keeps a list of clinicians trained in suicide bereavement. It notes that a listing is not an endorsement or a referral, so you still need to ask your own questions.
Which approach has the strongest evidence?
It depends on what you are dealing with. For prolonged grief disorder, a diagnosis only a clinician can make, a 2024 review concluded that grief-focused CBT-based therapies currently have the strongest evidence, while noting significant differences and bias among the studies. The American Psychiatric Association also says treatments using elements of cognitive behavioral therapy have been found effective in reducing symptoms.
For other approaches the trial evidence is thinner. There is little randomized-trial evidence for psychodynamic therapy for prolonged grief specifically. That is an absence of strong evidence, not evidence that it does not help. In a 2024 trial comparing grief-focused CBT with mindfulness-based cognitive therapy, the authors concluded that both may be considered and that grief-focused CBT might be the more effective choice.
For grief that is painful but is not prolonged grief disorder, researchers still disagree about how much counseling adds, and no method has been shown to be the right one for everybody. So it is reasonable to ask any therapist directly: if my grief turned out to be prolonged grief disorder, how would you approach it, and would you treat it yourself or refer me? A good therapist will answer that without defensiveness. Types of grief therapy and what the research says goes through each approach.
How do you judge fit?
Fit is harder to measure than a credential, and it matters. On a first call or in a first session, notice whether you feel listened to. Notice whether the therapist is curious about the person or the life you lost, not only about your symptoms. Notice whether they leave room for your family's, culture's or faith's ways of mourning, which shape how grief is expressed.
Pay attention to how you feel about pace. Some people want to talk about the death right away. Others need to circle it for a while. A therapist who is a good match for you will let you set that, and will not tell you how you should feel or how long it should take.
What should you ask on a consultation call?
Many therapists offer a short call before a first appointment. You do not need to tell the whole story. A few questions are enough to compare answers:
- How much of your work is with grief, and have you worked with a loss like mine?
- How would you describe your approach to grief, in plain words?
- What would our sessions actually look like?
- If my grief turned out to be prolonged grief disorder, how would you treat it, or who would you refer me to?
- How do you handle it when grief is mixed with trauma or depression?
- How will we check whether the work is helping?
- What do you charge, do you take my insurance, and do you meet in person, online or both?
What are signs to keep looking?
- A promise of a result, or of a set number of weeks to feel better. No one can honestly promise either.
- Insistence that you must move through five stages in order. The National Cancer Institute notes that the stage model has limited empirical support.
- Being told your grief is wrong, too much, or should be over by now.
- A suggestion that medication will treat the grief itself. The American Psychiatric Association says there are currently no medications for the specific symptoms of grief, and medication decisions belong with a prescriber.
- Pressure to commit before you have had a chance to ask questions.
- Vague answers when you ask how they work.
If you have thoughts of wishing you were dead or of ending your life, do not wait for a therapy appointment. Call or text 988, or call 911 in an emergency.
What practical details should you settle first?
Good therapy that you cannot get to, or cannot afford to continue, will not help much. Before you start, be clear on the fee, whether the therapist bills insurance, where and when sessions happen, and whether online sessions are an option. See what grief therapy costs in Massachusetts and online grief therapy in Massachusetts.
For reference, Dr. Rabin is a licensed clinical psychologist who has been in practice for over 21 years. She sees clients at 1577 Beacon Street in Brookline and by secure telehealth across Massachusetts. Her approach to grief and loss therapy is contemporary psychodynamic, attachment-based, trauma-informed and mindfulness-based, and she also offers CBT. Every question on this page is fair to put to her. She offers a free phone consultation of about 15 minutes, which you can request on the contact page.
Keep reading
Sources
- LaPlante, Hardt, Maciejewski and Prigerson, State of the Science: Psychotherapeutic Interventions for Prolonged Grief Disorder, Behavior Therapy (2024)
- American Psychiatric Association, Prolonged Grief Disorder (2025)
- Bryant et al., Cognitive Behavior Therapy vs Mindfulness in Treatment of Prolonged Grief Disorder: A Randomized Clinical Trial, JAMA Psychiatry (2024)
- National Cancer Institute, Grief, Bereavement, and Loss (PDQ), Patient Version (2025)
- National Cancer Institute, Grief, Bereavement, and Coping With Loss (PDQ), Health Professional Version (2024)
- Massachusetts Board of Registration of Psychologists, Board Policies and Guidelines for Psychologists: Provision of Services Via Electronic Means (2015)
- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, I've lost someone (accessed 2026)
- U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, National Center for PTSD, Grief: Taking Care of Yourself After a Loss (2026)
Last reviewed October 2026. This guide is general information, not medical advice or a diagnosis. If you are in crisis, call or text 988, or call 911 in an emergency.
