When you are grieving, the right book can make you feel less alone and give words to things that are hard to say. Some of the books below are memoirs written in the months after a death. Others are by therapists and researchers who study how people live with loss. Every title, author and year was checked on the publisher's or author's own page.
There is no correct way to grieve and no correct book. The list is in no particular order. If one does not speak to you, put it down and try another. Dr. Rabin works with people through grief and loss, and reading can be a helpful companion to that work.
1. The Year of Magical Thinking, by Joan Didion (2005)
Best for: The disorientation of sudden loss
Where: Memoir (Vintage International paperback in print)
Didion's husband, the writer John Gregory Dunne, died suddenly of a heart attack while their only daughter was critically ill in the hospital. The book follows the year that came after. Penguin Random House lists it as the 2005 National Book Award winner for nonfiction. The title refers to the irrational hopes and habits of mind that can take hold after a death, and many readers recognize themselves in Didion's exact, unsentimental account of them.
Visit The Year of Magical Thinking, by Joan Didion (2005)
2. A Grief Observed, by C.S. Lewis (1961)
Best for: Grief, faith and doubt
Where: Short memoir (HarperOne edition in print)
Lewis wrote this short book as a notebook after the death of his wife, Joy Davidman, from cancer. It was first published in 1961 under a pseudonym. The official C.S. Lewis site calls it "a stark recounting of one man's studied attempts to come to grips with" the most shattering grief of his life. It is brief and unpolished on purpose, and many readers of any faith or none find its honesty about anger and doubt a relief.
Visit A Grief Observed, by C.S. Lewis (1961)
3. It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand, by Megan Devine (2017)
Best for: Feeling permitted to grieve
Where: Guide (Sounds True)
Devine is a licensed professional counselor who began writing about grief after her partner drowned in 2009. Her publisher, Sounds True, says the book explains why well-meaning advice can make grief harder, and proposes building a life alongside grief rather than trying to get over it. It also includes practical tools for sleep and stress, and a section on how to support someone who is grieving.
Visit It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand, by Megan Devine (2017)
4. Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief, by David Kessler (2019)
Best for: Carrying a loss forward
Where: Guide and memoir (Scribner)
Kessler has spent his career teaching physicians, nurses, counselors, police and first responders about grief and the end of life. His site says his own life was upended by the sudden death of his 21-year-old son. The book adds "meaning" to the familiar stages of grief, and his site describes it as offering insights and practical tools for people living with loss.
Visit Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief, by David Kessler (2019)
5. The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss, by Mary-Frances O'Connor (2022)
Best for: Understanding why grief takes so long
Where: Popular science (HarperOne)
O'Connor is a psychologist and neuroscientist who directs the Grief, Loss and Social Stress Lab at the University of Arizona, according to her site. The book draws on her research to explain why the brain struggles to take in that a loved one is gone, and how grieving can be understood as a kind of learning. Readers who like to understand what is happening to them often find it steadying.
Visit The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss, by Mary-Frances O'Connor (2022)
6. The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss, by George A. Bonanno (2009)
Best for: Questioning the idea that grief follows set stages
Where: Popular science (Basic Books; revised edition 2019)
Bonanno is a professor of clinical psychology at Teachers College, Columbia University, where he directs the Loss, Trauma, and Emotion Lab, according to his publisher. The book argues that grief does not follow one predictable path and that emotions such as relief and even moments of joy can be part of mourning. It can be reassuring if your grief does not look the way you expected it to.
Visit The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss, by George A. Bonanno (2009)
7. Grief Works: Stories of Life, Death and Surviving, by Julia Samuel (2017)
Best for: Different kinds of loss, side by side
Where: Case stories and guide (Penguin Life in the UK; Scribner in the US, 2018)
Samuel is a psychotherapist and bereavement specialist. Her site describes the book as a mix of real case stories and practical advice, organized by the kind of loss: a partner, a parent, a sibling or a child, and facing your own death. There is also a section on supporting someone who is grieving. It suits readers who find it easier to learn from other people's stories.
Visit Grief Works: Stories of Life, Death and Surviving, by Julia Samuel (2017)
8. Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy, by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant (2017)
Best for: Grieving while parenting and working
Where: Memoir and applied psychology (Knopf)
Sandberg wrote the book with Wharton professor Adam Grant after the sudden death of her husband. The book's site says it pairs her story with research on resilience and with other people's accounts of hardship, and it includes guidance for families, communities and workplaces. Readers trying to hold grief alongside children and a job often find its practical focus helpful.
Visit Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy, by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant (2017)
How to read when you are grieving
Grief can make it hard to concentrate, so short books or a chapter at a time are fine. Many people find a memoir easier in the first months and a book about the science or process of grief more useful later. You can also stop and come back. There is no deadline.
Reading can help you feel understood, but it is not the same as being heard by another person. If your grief feels stuck, overwhelming or tangled up with other losses, it may help to talk with a therapist. Dr. Rabin's approach is psychodynamic, which can help you understand why a loss hits the way it does, including when it stirs up older grief. She sees clients in person in Brookline and by telehealth anywhere in Massachusetts, and offers a free 15-minute phone consultation through her contact page. If the loss has come with other big changes, see our list of ways to cope with life transitions.
If you are in crisis, call or text 988. In an emergency, call 911.
For more on what grief feels like, how long it lasts and when extra support helps, see the grief and loss guide.
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Last reviewed September 2026. This guide is general information, not medical advice. If you are in crisis, call or text 988, or call 911 in an emergency.
